


watch me

by Adamarks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/F, Fem SnowBaz, Mutual Masturbation, i just wanted to write lesbian porn, idk man, it's still tender though because it's me, they snuggle together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/pseuds/Adamarks
Summary: It was when I saw her curled up in her stupid shitty silk pajamas, humming because she didn’t notice me there, and softly giggling to herself over a gossip magazine that I realized I didn’t actually hate her.I was confused for a week.-this is fem snowbaz porn guys idk. it's still gentle and tender because it's me.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 38
Kudos: 160





	watch me

**Author's Note:**

> I hate bri for making me post this. I was just content to let it sit in my google docs forever but OH NO we have to bug me to post it.

**Simon**

It was when I saw her curled up in her stupid shitty silk pajamas, humming because she didn’t notice me there, and softly giggling to herself over a gossip magazine that I realized I didn’t actually hate her. 

I was confused for a week. 

-

It wasn’t until one morning that she woke up with a huge knot in her hair at the top of her head that I realized I actually kinda liked her. 

I forgot how to fight with her for three days. 

-

It was the one night that’d done me in. 

I’d walked in on Baz trying to paint her nails. She was doing a shit job. The bottle tipped over on her bed when she’d noticed me. 

I was so grateful Agatha always forced me to do her nails. 

Baz let me sit on her bed and paint them. 

I realized then that I loved her. 

I was a wreck for a month. 

-

Sometimes Basil stares at me before she goes to sleep. It’s creepy. Like she wants to eat me. (I  _ wish  _ she’d want to eat me.) (In any sense of the word.) (Yes, including the vampire bit. She’s so hot.) (I watched Carmilla at Agatha’s.) (What a mistake. All I can think about is Baz in leather pants.) 

I wait until I hear her breathing even out, then I sit up and look at her. 

A little ray of moonlight tickles over her face. She’s so beautiful. 

I think about her in tight leather pants again. 

_ Please, dear god, no _ . 

I think about her biting me. A stray bit of blood running from my neck to my boob. Her licking it up. 

_ Stop it.  _

I masturbated to her a month ago and I still feel guilty for it. It makes me feel like a creep. She’s probably into blokes. 

I’m not a bloke. Which sucks for me. Not that she’d like me even if I was.

Merlin and Mor _ gana _ , I want to eat her out. My hair’s long enough for her to pull on right now. 

Fuck do I want her pretty lips on my pussy—

I lie back down. 

I can’t. Not with her right here. 

I want to look at her as I suck on her clit. I want to watch her watching me. 

For fuck’s sake. I guess the horny thoughts aren’t going away. 

Her mouth is open. She’s drooling on her pillow. 

She’s probably in a deep enough sleep, right?

I’m going to feel so guilty tomorrow. 

I’m not going to think about it. 

I shove my hand under my pajama’s waistband. I let my hand wander over the insides of my thighs. I dig my nails (what little nails I have) into my leg and pull a little. Baz hates me. It’s not like she’d be gentle. 

Baz hating me hurts. It makes me stop. I peep over at her and immediately look away. I’m a dirty old man. No looking at her. It’s invading her privacy even more than I am already. 

What if she didn’t hate me? 

My fingers run over my labia. I clamp my mouth shut. I have to be quiet. 

My middle finger pushes at my vaginal opening through my underwear. My underwear are kinda wet already. 

What if she didn’t look at me like I was the bain of her existence. 

My fingers gently ghost over my clit. 

What if I was allowed to tell her how beautiful she is? 

My fingers brush over my clit again. 

_ You’re so pretty, Baz.  _

I start properly rubbing through my underwear.

For a moment I just think of her eyes and mouth, her hot breath on my pussy. Of holding her hand as she comes. 

I think about her coming a lot. Now, when I’m bored in class, when I watch her on the football pitch, when I’m glaring at her across the lunchroom. 

I’m not even sure why I still glare at her. Decorum, maybe? A sense of duty? Scared she won’t look back unless antagonized? 

Probably that last one. 

_ Well, on that depressing note _ . I slip my hand under the band of my underwear. 

_ Don’t look over, dammit.  _

I look over. 

Her eyelids are fluttering as she dreams. 

_ Fuck, why _ is she so  _ pretty.  _

Fuck her. Literally. 

I want to pull her hair in my fist and kiss her neck as I grind our clits together. 

She’d make the most beautiful moans. 

I pull up my shirt so my tits are out and fist my hand in my hair. 

I want her to pull on my hair while I eat her pussy. I want to pull off right before she comes and make her shove my head back down. 

I’m getting close. I tense my stomach and pull my hair. I’m breathing heavily through my nose. 

Just one more peek. Just one just one just one

I look over. 

Baz is watching me. Her mouth is gaping. 

I’m fucking mortified that that immediately makes me come. 

I’m usually silent when I come, but moans and groans escape this time. It’s because I want to put on a show. I know it is. There’s a special circle of hell for me I’m so gross. 

Of course it has to be an orgasm that fucking lasts awhile. As soon as my body has decided it’s done jerking, I whip my hand out of my pants. I’m gonna cry. 

I shakily stand up. I re _ fuse  _ to look at Baz. 

“I’m sorry,” oh fuck a nine toed troll, I sound like I’m crying. 

I high-tail it the fuck out of there.

  
  


**Baz**

I know she’s sure as hell not coming back tonight. My hand’s down my pants almost as soon as the door closes. 

**Simon**

I’ve wanted to cry all week. I’m so disgusting. I should get my entire reproductive system revoked. I deserve a lobotomy. 

**Baz**

I would literally kill a man to watch Simon orgasm again. I can’t think of anything else. I’m going insane. I’m so fucking horny. I’m on death’s brink. 

  
  


**Simon**

I literally want to die. 

Every time I see Baz I want to cry. Baz doesn’t even antagonize me. I’ve ruined everything. I hate myself. 

-

I wake up and hear Baz breathing heavy and I feel my heart in my throat. Oh god, she’s having another nightmare. 

I crack my eye open and look over as carefully as possible only 

to

see. 

Baz is. 

She

Well, she’s not crying; so there’s that. 

Her chest is heaving and I’m staring at her boobs and my mouth is watering. 

Her hand’s down the front of her pajama bottoms. 

I’m 

She

Her head turns towards me just a little. And her eyes flutter open. 

Her hand stops moving. 

We’re both staring. 

_ Well, shit. Keep going.  _

Can’t really say that out loud. 

We’re both just having a fucking stare down I don’t know what to do. I’m panicking. I’m having a meltdown. 

My eyes slide to her boobs. 

My hands slap over my eyes. 

“ _ You can keep going I won’t watch!” _ Why the  _ fuck  _ did I shout that? 

_ Why  _ the  _ fuck  _ didn’t I just offer to  _ leave? _

Cause I’m a fucking creep, that’s why. 

“What the fuck, Snow.”

“I know I’m so sorry!” I’m still not moving. Why aren’t I fucking  _ moving? _

(Because I don’t want to.)

(I want to climb into her bed and help her out.) 

(It’s a very special brand of mortification and horniness that I’m experiencing right now.) 

“You’re… you’re serious. You want me to keep going.” 

“It’s fine!” I sound like a dying cat. It’s more than fine. 

There’s nothing for a moment, and then I hear a little bit of rustling. I keep my eyes screwed shut. 

She starts breathing heavily again. 

Holy hell. 

I keep my palms shoved into my eye sockets. 

I hear a little squelching. My face is hot. My pussy is screaming for attention. 

I hear the tiniest moan. 

_ Don’t look don’t look don’t look don’t look don’ _

I peek. 

She’s looking at me. 

Our eyes are locked. 

She’s not stopping this time. 

My eyes trail down to her boobs, to her stomach, to where her hand disappears under her pajama bottoms. I look back up at her face. She’s panting harder. 

Just stop thinking, Simon. 

I do. 

I shoot up to turn on the lamp. Baz’s hand flies out of her bottoms. She looks panicked, but I ignore it. If she’s going to look at me like  _ that,  _ then this is probably fine. 

(Baz knows how to say no to me. That’s never been an issue.) (Asshole.)

I whip off my shirt and hurl it across the room and flop back onto the bed. My legs are spread just like hers. My pillow is bunched so I can look over at her.

She’s gaping at me. 

I smooth my hair out of my face and flick my eyes from her face to her lower half.  _ Well? _

One eyebrow goes up and one goes down. 

Oh, bloody fucking hell I read this wrong didn’t I. 

I move my hand up to my stomach. Her eyes snap to it. She bites her lips. 

I inch my hand down. She doesn’t look repulsed. 

My hand slips under the waistband. She sucks in a breath. 

_ Please let this be okay please let this be okay _

My fingers run over the top of the elastic of my boxers. 

My heart almost kicks out of my chest as her hand comes up to rest on her stomach. 

I look back at her face. She looks engrossed. Focused. Like when she’s studying. Or trying to pick apart a puzzle. 

She’s looking at me like I’m something worth looking at. 

My breath hitches. 

_ Watch me.  _

I shove my hand into my boxers. I slide down through the hair and down to dip into my vagina with two fingers. Holy fuck am I slick. 

I groan, because Baz is watching me. 

I glance back over at Baz; her hand is back down her pajamas too. 

I bring my wet fingers up to rub my clit. My stomach tightens. Baz’s leg twitches. 

I rub a little faster. 

Baz starts panting a little harder. 

I look up at her face, and like my eyes summoned hers, she looks back up at mine. She’s just a little bit flushed. I wonder if her lips would go pink if I sucked on them. 

Her tongue comes out to lick her bottom lip. 

I whimper. I’ve never done  _ that  _ before. 

Baz is rubbing faster and panting harder and I feel like I’m going to shrivel up and die if I don’t touch her. 

So I hold out my other hand between the beds. 

And I pray that she’ll take it. 

I almost burst into tears when she does. 

I have her hand in a death grip and we’re both rubbing like there’s no tomorrow. 

I wish she’d say my name. 

“Baz,” I whine. 

She looks a mess. She’s watching me. 

“Simon.” 

I start to come with a shout (that’s new) and my hips buck up off the bed. I make sure I keep watching Baz I have to memorize her I—

I rub harder and I let out the loudest moan I’ve ever made. 

Baz’s legs snap shut and she makes a surprised yelp and a giggle as her hips start jerking. 

My hand’s like a vice on hers. I’m so embarrassed I feel like I’m moaning almost as much as a porn star. (Except my moans are real.) (Which is even more embarrassing.) 

_ Baz Baz Baz Baz Baz.  _

I’m moaning with every exhale. Baz is panting with her face half buried in the pillows. I feel like a wet noodle. I feel like if I don’t get touched I’ll collapse and die. 

Baz is still holding my hand. I might be allowed. 

I get up (I don’t let go of Baz’s hand) and crawl into her bed, behind her. I half to step on the bed and over her to get back there. 

I let go of her hand to press myself up against her so tight that our flesh might have a chance of fusing. 

Baz, I love you. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

  
  


**Baz**

Simon’s so warm. 

I touch her hand and she presses even closer. 

Simon, you’re so warm. 

**Simon**

I wake up with hair in my face. 

Smells good though. Like cedar and bergamot. A splash of that scalp smell because she hasn’t showered since yesterday. 

My one arm has gone numb, the other one has Baz in a death grip. My leg is locked around her like it’s holding on for dear life. 

I move my face over and kiss her shoulder. Then the junction of her neck and shoulder. Then behind her ear. 

She wakes up and turns and I squirm my dead arm away. 

She’s squinting at me. She looks grouchy. 

My face hurts from grinning. 

“Good morning.” 

She looks like she can’t quite figure out what to make of me. 

“Good morning,” she replies

I’m so happy I think I’m gonna pop. 

“How’d you sleep?” 

She looks suspicious. “...Fine.” 

I get so excited I lean down and kiss her nose. “Yeah?” I kiss her cheek. “Did you have any dreams?” I kiss her other cheek. 

“Snow—“

She called me Simon before. I kiss her forehead anyway. 

She pushes a little bit at my chest and I back off. “Snow, what are you—“ she trails off. She looks lost for words. 

“I’m kissing my girlfriend good morning.” 

“We’re girlfriends?” She sounds like she chokes on the word “girlfriends.”

“Yeah? I thought so, anyway.” 

“Since when?”

Now I’m confused. “I— do you not want to be girlfriends?”

“What?”

“I said, ‘do you not w—‘“

“I heard you!”

“Oh okay.” 

We stare at each other. 

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. 

“So are we girlfriends?” 

She groans and slaps a hand over her face. “You can’t just decide these things!”

What is she on about? “That’s exactly what we do. If we decide we’re girlfriends then we are.” 

She groans again, “Merlin, Snow—“

“You called me Simon.” 

She takes her hand off of her face. “What?” 

“Call me Simon.” 

She glares at me. “No.”

“What? Why!”

“You’re an arse.” 

“Baz,” that came out really whiny. Really really whiny.

She looks startled. Then she looks delighted. Like how she looks when she’s about to get in an especially vapid remark. An incredibly good “Snow, you’re the dumbest human being on this planet and here’s why.” 

Why do I love her? I really am the dumbest human being on the planet. 

“Yes,  _ Simon? _ ” She says my name so sweet it’s disgusting. I hate her shitty guts. 

I’m glaring at her. “Fuck you. Are we girlfriends or not.”

She hums thoughtfully. I hope she falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. “I don’t know…” 

I lean down and kiss her. See if she can be a shit while she can’t talk. 

I come back up and she looks a little bit dazed. Who knew the way to make her shut up was just to kiss her. I should’ve done it a long time ago. 

“So we’re girlfriends.”

She rolls her eyes and tries to look put-upon, “Fine.”

I lean down and kiss her again. 

She’s bad at acting put-upon while she’s being kissed. 

**Author's Note:**

> you suck bri.


End file.
